Text Jokes for Whatsapp

Seeing the brand new BMW X6 of the boss, an employee full of excitement says : Wah boss, what a superb vehicle you have got!

Boss, putting his hand on his shoulders : If you too work with all sincerity, put all efforts with your heart and soul, come on time, take no leave, do work overtime and complete all targets, then...

Employee: Then what, sir?

Boss : Next year I will get a better car than this.

Boss Asks his Employee: “Do you believe that there is Life After Death?”.

Employee: “Certainly not Sir, there’s no proof of it”.

Boss: “Well, there is.... After you left office early yesterday to go to your cousin’s funeral, he came here looking for you.”

Husband:Dear..Tis months salary yeduthuden unakku yenna venum??๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ 
Wife:ermm..monday shopping polam....๐Ÿ‘œ๐Ÿ’„ 
Wife:Tuesday padam pakke polam...๐Ÿ’‘๐ŸŸ๐ŸŽฅ๐ŸŽฌ
Wife:Wednesday pizza and kfc polam..๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ— 
Wife:than..thursday jewellery shop poidu bangles vangalam...๐Ÿ’
Husband:Wait...friday kuil ku polam... 
Husband:picche yeduke...๐Ÿ˜ก

Hahahaxxxx..send to all frends๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜†

Whatsapp group results are out...which one are you❓

1.Whatsapp Rooster: ๐Ÿ˜€Everyday wishing everyone good morning and waking them up is their favorite job...they go quiet after this.

2.Whatsapp Baba: ๐ŸคขThey send only messages of God and give advice.

3.Whatsapp Thief: ๐Ÿ‘ปThey copy other's messages and forward them.

4.Whatsapp Devadas: ๐Ÿค“ They always send painful and sad messages and poems....and make everyone else sad.

5.Whatsapp news reporter: ๐Ÿ˜ŽThey update everyone about what's happening in the world.

6.Whatsapp Optimist: ๐Ÿค—No matter how sad their life is they keep replying to everyone and keep laughing.

7.Whatsapp Meesna: ๐Ÿ˜ทThey read everyone's messages silently but never reply...many are unaware these people exist in the group.

8.Whatsapp Thinkers: ๐Ÿ˜‡They try to change people by sending good purposeful messages.

9.Whatsapp Poets: ✍๐ŸปThese people don't know anything other than poems and bore others with their emotional poems.

10.Whatsapp Chatter: ๐Ÿ˜‹They are not interested in anything other than chatting...they are always online.

11.Whatsapp monkey: ๐Ÿคฆ‍♂They never reply...only say haha..hehe.

12.Whatsapp Collector: They only join but never send messages.

13.Whatsapp All Rounder: ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ‍♂They express their opinion on anything and everything. They know about everything and try to impress everyone.

All of us belong to at least one of these categories...

An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.
Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.
"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"


1. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing; ..
Either the car is new or the wife.

2. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? ..
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!

3. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!

4.  A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!

5. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman -
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied - “My husband’s cheque book!”

6. A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, Husband – the Master of the House?" Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”!

7. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What’s the secret?"
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!

8. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!

Laugher is the best Medicine

Doctor: Which soap do you use?
Patient: K. P. Namboodiri's soap.
Doctor: Paste?
Patient: K. P. Namboodiri's paste
Doctor: Shampoo?
Patient: - K. P. Namboodiri's shampoo.
Doctor: Is K.P. Namboodiri an international brand?
Patient: No.
K. P. Namboodiri is my Roommate !

ร˜  A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s cheque book !!”

ร˜ A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”.

ร˜ Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife
"Darling, Honey, Love".
What’s the secret?
Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.

ร˜ A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife ?
After making call,  he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing.
Hell to hell is Free.

ร˜ Husband to wife,
"Today is a fine day"
Next day he says : Today is a fine day. Again next day,
he says same thing.
Today is a fine day. Finally after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband – since last one week, you are saying this “Today is a fine day’. I am fed up. What’s the matter?
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will  leave you one fine day.”
I was just trying to remind you……

Have a laugh, laughter is the best medicine..
Joke time.....๐Ÿ“ข๐Ÿ“ข๐Ÿ“ข๐Ÿ“ข๐Ÿ“ข


Argument between British and Indian.
British: we spoiled ur mother land for 200 yrs

India:- "hahaha"
we r spoiling your mother tongue daily "hahahahahaha"

Teacher - what is d full form of MATHS..
Student- mentally affected teacher harassing student

Sardar in computr exam.
Exmnr- wht iz microsoft excel ?
Sardar - i thnk it iz a new brand of surf excel to clean d computer...

New in Market...... fwd it quickly


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started....


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started....


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started....


My wife was standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment."

I replied, "Your eyesight is perfect."

And then the fight started....


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."

So I took her to my parents' house.

And then the fight started....

Dedicated to all married couples. But don't send to all

I sent it to my friend. He sent it to his wife and then the fight started. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


Effect of over flooded Diwali messages on WhatsApp.  People reply even without reading at all most of the time.

One doctor receives message from his friend:

My daughter suffers from vomiting and loose motions, what should I give?

Doctor replied:

Wishing you the same and entire family. Enjoy the moments with full fun and rejuvenate



๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘
If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT, why are whales FAT????
Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT, called a STAND????
Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN,
but nobody wants to DIE????
In our country, we have FREEDOM of SPEECH, then why do we have TELEPHONE BILLS????
If money doesn't grow on TREES, then why do BANKS have BRANCHES?
Why doesn't GLUE
stick to its BOTTLE????
Why do you still call it a BUILDING, when its already BUILT????
If it is true that we are here to HELP others, what are others HERE for????
If you aren't supposed to DRINK and DRIVE, 
why do bars have PARKING lots????
If all the nations in the world are in DEBT,
where did all the MONEY go????
When dog food is new with improved TASTE, who TESTS it????
If the "Black Box" flight recorder Is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff????
Who copyrighted
the copyright symbol????
Can you cry under water?
Why do people say "You've been working like a dog," when dogs just sit around all day????
We all are living in a seriously funny world!!!!
So Enjoy!!!! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
Don't laugh alone pass it on.
Hope this will make you laugh and think!!!!

Job Interview. MP

OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:-  M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:-  Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:-  M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:-  Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday :   M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:-  Manipur Province
OFFICER:- What is your qualification?
Monday:-  M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:-  Matric Pass
OFFICER:- So why do you need a job?
Monday:-   It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER:   Meaning?
Monday:-  Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your  personality like?
Monday:    MP sir.
OFFICER:   And what is that?
Monday:-  Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
Monday:-  Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:-   My Performance.
OFFICER:-  I think you have M.P.
Monday:-   Meaning?
OFFICER:-  Mental Problem!!!

Don't laugh alone.
Send this to M.P. (Many People)  to put smile on their faces. 

I have sent this to u because u are M.P. (My People).
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚ ♓ ?๐Ÿ˜œ?๐Ÿ˜‚

Leave Application

Dear Sir,

My husband had a headache this morning and accidentally took Viagra instead of paracetamol. Since our maid is also home, I cannot come to the office today...

Thank you!

English vs Tamil

Son: amma nee yenkitta poi sollirka.....
Mom : I told to u every time please speak in English.
Son : Ok Mom u lied to me.
Mom : When my son. ?..
Son : U said that my younger sis is an angel.
Mom : Yes, she is
Son : So why didn't she fly when I threw her from our balcony.
Mom : ayyo!!!! Saniyane, yengada pottu tholachha kuzhandhaya?????
Son : Talk in English Mom.. I was just kidding ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ 
Power of mother tongue 
เฎคாเฎฏ் เฎฎொเฎดிเฎฏிเฎฉ் เฎ…เฎฐுเฎฎை☝. . .!!!